The Loss Of Innocence

The Loss Of Innocence Tired, hungry and wanting to go home The Loss of innocence Orientation, introduction, moving in classes, fraternity exams midterm finals, all flying by with the roar of drag car screaming past you on the side. That is how this past semester has felt like. So far everything has been a blur, “tunnel visioned” towards the end that is now wider as I start to comprehend all of the emotions and information from this past semester. Sitting here in front of my computer finishing on of the last essays I will write this semester about the thing that I have done this semester. Tired, hungry and wanting to go home have been the reoccurring themes so far in my college career.

At the outset of college, orientation, I was not so thrilled. Number one because Mason likes most everyone else was my second choice. I had hope to get into UVA but I knew my grade point average went to *censored* my senior year and it wasn’t going to happen. So here I am sitting I the theater in the basement of Johnson Center listening to some old guy, whose brown suede jacket and bright pink shirt are making me dizzy, go on and on about the honor code. Don’t cheat, gees that’s a new concept.

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The night finished up with some cheesy get to know you class dance and sleeping in the dorms at Wilson. Ah the smell of stagnant air that had not been circulated in four months. Combine that with a super soft sinking mattress and one can image the kind of sleep I got. It made staying home and working at Wal-Mart looking more and more like a wise career move. Move in day. Hot, lines of people and once again hot.

As I sat there in traffic fanning my self I could see the air before me blur from the invisible rising heat off of the asphalt. A sense of relief washes over me though when I find that I am to be living in the new dorms. Three gorgeous sorority girls, who help carry my stuff to my room, greet me the minute I get out of the car. I get in meet my room mated whom appears to be, and as I would soon find out, to be a pretty normal guy. My parents leave after what seems of hours of kissing and hugging and I am on my own.

The sun goes down and along with it my childhood. The rising tide of adulthood Monday morning comes around and so does first day of classes. Not so bad in fact hey seemed damned easy, college was going to be a piece of cake. The first weekend came along and with it the start of what I would learn to become known as “Rush”. All the fraternities through these awesome parties over the course of the next few weekend in the hoe of getting us freshmen to pledge.

The one I finally settled on, Phi Kappa Theta, made fraternity life seem like heaven. They were first with grades, mandatory study times, and every one of their parties I left with an alcoholic’s smile on my face and hot girl on my arm. What guys could pass up an opportunity for something like that. And besides I knew what fraternities were all about I had watch Animal House hundreds of times. Have you ever been in the top of a bunk bed and fallen out? Well that is what it is like pledging for a fraternity. You go from being treated like a king by the Brothers to become slaves overnight. And while I never did anything against my morals some things did get on my nerves, such as the first time I got called out for a pack of cigarettes in the middle of the night the day before I had a seven thirty class. Events on the weekdays will go till four in the morning, which is what will really test your nerves.

But it was all worth it, in so many ways. While some of the stuff seemed ridiculous and repetitive it did several good things. It gave me the closest group of friends, my pledge brothers. I never thought I would have made 17 friends so fast and become so tight with them. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for them and that they wouldn’t do for me.

In the past I have unfortunately quit when the going got really tough, but for the first time I am going to finish something and it makes me feel as if I have made up for all of the other times I have failed myself. This success is directly in part because of the support that they have given me. Now the semester is coming to an end and finally college’s difficulty has reared its ugly head. Exams. In high school they were a joke because I always got exempt from them so I have never really taken a formal exam.

Then out of the blue, there are five papers due next week 5 exams the day after the papers are due and trying to incorporate this with the rest of my schedule is just damned near impossible. This is an experience like no other. It is however, like everything, else good in the end. Because for the first time I am actually doing work in school, which is one thing I thought I would never have done. In fact I have done many things this semester that I thought I never would have done. Resolve With all of my new found knowledge I went to go schedule for classes.

I made sure all of the classes were after 3p.m. and later, that way I could sleep in unlike this year. I clustered all of my classes into building that were close to each other so I don’t have to crisscross all over campus. I have learned that pledging should be done in the spring because the program is only half a semester, instead of a full semester long. That of course doesn’t matter now because I pledged in the fall. Most of all I have learned that the majority of the stereotypes I heard in my childhood about other races are certainly not true.

One stereotype did prove true, particularly in my English class and that is northern Virginia is much more liberal than the south. But seriously, while this has been a difficult semester it has opened my eyes up to the world. So now I look back on this semester with a smile, all the while feeling tired, hungry for non-cafeteria food, and wanting to go home. Philosophy.