First of all I think that in the back of every parents mind are questions concerningtheir childs future.
Like will it be a doctor, a lawyer, or the next president of the UnitedStates. But with these questions there are also more questions that are not discussedfreely like what if it is a bad child or it is uncontrollable? And will it do drugs or tryalcohol and smoke cigarettes? Another question that might be in the back of a parentsmind is about its childs sexual orientation. I know this may seem far fetched to somepeople but if I had a child right now in todays world, that question would not be in theback of my mind but in the front. I know that any parent and including me will love theirchild no matter what its sexual orientation, but I know that most if not all parents wouldprefer that their kids be straight. This is not so they wont be embarrass or ashamed bytheir child, but only for the protection of their child. As we all know this world is not asafe place for people that are different.
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I think that parents are concerned when their girlacts like a tomboy, but they get really scared when their son starts doing what wetraditionally consider girl stuff. A child should be raised to be whomever he or shechooses and the child shouldnt have to accept society, but society should accept the childA parents reaction to their daughter acting like a tomboy is very passive and theyplay it off humorously and sometimes they even encourage it. This doesnt apply to someparents but most parents react this way when their daughter acts like a boy and does boystuff. I used to know a girl that was a tomboy.
She always hung around with boys evenin middle school. She had al guy friends and would play boys games. Not once did I everhear her parents say anything to make her stop acting like a tomboy, instead theyencouraged. For instance they used to take all her friends, we were all boys to baseballgames and hockey games.
There was never another girl there except for herself. And Iguess she felt comfortable hanging around with boys and her parents didnt mind as longas she was happy, because that was really what mattered. On the other hand there was myneighbors son. This boy was the total opposite of the girl. He never played with boys buthe was always around girls. He was always teased by the other boys including me, but wewere all young back then.
But looking back at this, its weird to notice that we alwaysmade fun of the boy who acted like a girl but never did I hear anyone make fun of the girl. I think that the boys parents were more upset about the little boys playmates than anyoneelse. The boys father, my neighbor used to push the boy into doing boy stuff like playinglittle league baseball and pop warner football.
Whenever the father saw us boys playingfootball or basketball on the street, he would literally drag the boy out of the house tomake him play with us. The little boy would be in tears crying but you could still hear hisfather encouraging him to play. We all knew that the boy was scared straight by his fatherand dared not to disobey his father, but he didnt want to play. Even the boys mother waslike his father.
If other girls came to play with the boy, she would not let him out. Sothen a couple of boys used to go and get him out of his house, which his mom agreed toso he could secretly play with the other girls. Looking back at this makes me think thatthose actions by both the girl and the boy didnt really mean anything because we wereThere are a lot of reasons to why there is a double standard for girls acting likeboys and boys acting like girls.
The boys get the hard rough end of the stick. Everyone isokay with girls acting like tomboys but as soon as a boy acts like a girl, he is consideredto be gay, or it is considered unexceptable behavior. I am one of those people. I dontknow what it is but as soon as I do see a guy who acts like a girl, I think that he is gay andI know most people feel the same. I think that this is societies fault. I say this because askids everyone is taught to be athletic and play boy things like football, baseball, andbasketball. And it doesnt matter if girls play these sports because society accept it, thereare womens basketball leagues and soccer leagues. But nothing is ever considered a girlsport.
The saying, Its a mans world, has a lot of meaning behind it. I say this becausemen are considered superior to women and if peoples daughters act like men theres not aproblem because you get more respect and more money doing man stuff than you wouldget doing women stuff. So the boys that are acting like girls, in their parents mind aretaking a step backward instead of accepting being a man and receiving all the benefits ofbeing a man. There is the double standard.Personally my belief on homophobia is that people tend to be scared of things thatare different and about things that they are not educated on or dont know enough about.
Take me for instance I am all right about talking to a lesbian, I have no problem with that. But you can never make me talk to a gay guy. That is one thing I would never be able todo. To honest with you it grosses me out and I dont even know why. This doesnt meanI hate gay guys, it just means that if I knew that some guy was gay I just wouldnt evertalk to him. This is true for all my friends because we have discussed it before. And weare not anti gay or anything it just that we are scared of things we dont understand andreally dont want to understand. There again is the double standard because in my mindits okay for some girl to be a lesbian but its not okay for a guy to be gay.
I remember inhigh school when there was a rumor going around that a teacher was gay, he was a maleteacher. It just so happened that this was currently my teacher. After hearing that rumor,if it was a rumor or the truth, I was never able to talk to that teacher again.Furthermore I believe that the little boys doing girl stuff and the little girls doingboy stuff will eventually grow out of doing so. Its just a phase. Maybe at that point inthe childs life they are not interested with what their sex does and doesnt care for it.
Icame to this conclusion because I have seen it happen. Remember the boy and girl Idiscussed earlier? Well they turned out all right, because I still know both of them andthey are pretty close friends of mine. The girl just grew out of the jeans and a shirts. Assoon as she got to high school she stopped hanging around with us boys, and nobodyminded it. But she was still very athletic and was on the softball and basketball teams inhigh school. And the boy also just grew out of his phase.
He was even on my footballteam in high school, he was pretty athletic in all sports. Last I heard from him was that hewas going to be a doctor. In the end something good did come out of him doing girlstuff.
So in the end I think its up to the child when she or he wants to move out of thephase they are going through. And I dont believe that parents should push their child toact like their own sex. I know thats more easier to say than do, and plus I am not aparent yet. If the child doesnt change because they dont want to, well than we as asociety should try to help that child feel accepted and not rejected. Because they mostlikely already feel rejected cause they are different.Bibliography:none