.. It is the start of a new year and I thought I would start a journal chronicling my daily experiences.
Tonight we decided to go to the local F.O.P. lodge to a New Years Eve party.
We had a pretty good time but what happened later that evening is something that I hope I don’t forget for a long time to come. Still fresh in my mind was the conversation Angela and I had on Christmas night.She was hinting that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be in a serious relationship this soon after the breakup of her previous one. If that wasn’t hard enough on Christmas she also was to ill to attend my brothers wedding with me in Madison Indiana . To add to all the confusion in my head, on my way home I stopped and got her a rose and a “happy New Years” balloon. She seemed quite touched by the gesture but also visibly troubled by it. I asked her if she was ready to have a good time tonight and she said “I was but now I don’t know.
” Now what in the world does that mean! I tried applying all sorts of significant meanings to that statement but in the end I decided to just let it go and let events unfold as they would.Fast forward to 2 minutes before midnight. Angela is an absolute goddess, she is very beautiful and one of the nicest, sweetest woman I have ever met, but she is not one given to affection, especially public affection. Well at 2 minutes till she laid a kiss on me that lasted well after midnight. She absolutely blew me away!! The rest of the night was nice, we went to a couple more clubs but that moment is burned into my memory. Everything else paled in comparison.I don’t know if it is possible but I think I kissed her with my heart as well as my lips. I have heard of your “minds eye”, but tonight I found my “hearts mouth”.
… January 2, 1997 I slept very happily all morning. I guess we were up a little later than I thought. I think my mind is still reeling from last night.
I don’t know what I’m going to do with my self since Monday Night football is off, and Buffalo is out of the playoffs. One thing is for sure I know Angela is glad of that. We spent a nice relaxing day together doing nothing but laying on the couch. It was great! Well that’s the extent of my new years day. I’ve got to get ready for work, which by the way is the low point of my day.January 3, 1997 T.G.I.
F! Angela and I went to go see the movie Jerry Maguire. It was really good, but Angela was convinced that the only reason I went to see it was because I knew she wanted to see it. That was part of the reason but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
She gets upset sometimes when she thinks I’m doing something just for her. Go figure, you would think that would be a good thing.Oh well I guess God knew what he was doing when he made women as utterly confusing as he did.
… January 4, 1997 Saturday, I love Saturday’s. It’s a day I don’t have to do anything. Fortunately NFL playoffs are going on.
I think Green Bay and San Francisco are playing today.I hope Green Bay wins. I have decided that by the time my birthday rolls around I will quit smoking. Good luck huh? I’m sure that once I start school my Saturdays won’t be as relaxing as they are now.
What I’m really worried about is that when I start school I won’t have near the time, or money to do things with Angela and she will get bored with me. It’s funny, when I was dating Sonya she would have put up with just about anything just to see me in school.Now I’m worried that Angela won’t want to wait for a “college student”. Well maybe I’m just creating all this in my head. After all she is a wonderful girl maybe I should give her a little more credit.
….. January 5, 1997 It’s Sunday the traditional football watching extravaganza.
We went to Baker Street Cafe last night, drank a few beers and just hung out.It was kind of nice because it’s not to often that we all get to go do something together. On the flip side of the coin I spent six of my last eleven dollars. I have no idea what I am going to do for money for the next week and a half. Oh well on to the important stuff, football! First game New England and Pittsburgh. New England crushed them. Second game Carolina and Dallas.Carolina won fairly handily.
I was cheering and Brett was cussing. I loved it Angela went home before the football got started but I was very glad we got to spend the entire weekend together. I know it’s very easy for me to take things and people for granted so I’m hoping that by putting this down in words it will serve to remind me what terrific friends and girlfriend I have. Even though I’m poor as dirt right now I am rich in good friends.You know you can have all the money one could ever want but without rich, fulfilling friendships you’ll still die alone and an emotional pauper. Thank God for friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! January 6, 1997 Monday, back to work I go.
It was kind of an off day. I seemed to be out of sync with things today. I don’t know what was wrong.Oh well tomorrow’s another day. I talked with Nanny today she seems to be doing a little better.
Mom and Dad told me she had viral pneumonia. I sure hope this doesn’t cause any long term aftereffects. She is so special to me, I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to her.I guess now is the best time to try to do everything I can for and with her before it’s to late. Aaron got back from his honeymoon last night, I hope they had a great time. The family tree grows yet another branch, and here I am still clinging to the trunk.
Maybe someday soon? I’ve got a meeting tomorrow at work, I think the purpose is to tell us that Ben has sold his controlling interest in the station. I hope this will be a positive change and will not affect my going back to school……
… January 7,1997 Went over to Angela’s tonight.We ate pizza and watched a really bizzare movie called “To Die For”. I won’t comment on it other than it was pretty weird. I got another one of those lip melting kisses before I left though.
I think things are really going good. I couldn’t get to sleep tonight so I stayed up and watched “Memphis Belle”.I can’t describe the emotions I feel whenever I watch that movie, but suffice it to say that this was the last movie I watched before I left for Dessert Storm. It is always emotional for me. Anyway I think I finally got to bed about 4am. It’s supposed to start snowing tomorrow, and from the sound of the weather I might be stuck up at master control. JANUARY 20, 1997 Well would you listen to this.Angela, who now lives with us, decided that she was not going to go with me to my parents house for the day to celebrate my birthday, and it only gets better from there.
I go to my parents house and that was quite nice. I was fuming all the way back wondering what in the hell was going through Angela’s head. When I got back to the house (BG) and walked inside I found out why. She had arranged a suprise party for me, oh but it gets much better….
…Nearly everybody I knew in BG was there, with the exception of Sonya and Damian. I guess I’ve been holding on to that grudge for a little long. Anyway skip ahead to the end of the evening. Angela and I had alittle “talk”.
You guessed it, it was the “I think we should see other people talk”. Can you believe this?! First on Christmas Eve now on my thirtieth birthday!! It was like a professional hit. I had visions of Poe’s raven perched on my shoulder screaming “never more”.Oh by the way, school started today, it sucks! Sometimes when we feel like we are the most stable and secure we learn that inevitably humbling lesson just before crashing through the proverbial thin ice. Acceptance Essays.