Breaking Up

.. ly, Tom got angry and told Christine to stay away from his family. As it turned out, Christine never followed through on her threats. They were just an underhanded ploy to make Tom upset.

This is not a mature way of handling a breakup, which is true for most teenage heartbreak.Another incorrect method of recovery is harassment due to obsession. The harasser is the person who, for example, is obsessed with driving by the exs house or place of work, calls the other just to hear his or her voice and tries to cover it up with lies like, I was just in the neighborhood, and I think I dialed the wrong number.. The severity of the obsession is measured by the time that is spent on it, the degree of stress it causes, lack of control, and interference in ones life and responsibilities. In severe cases, medications can help. As many as one in forty Americans have some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder.Along with harassment, physical abuse is yet another extremely wrong way to handle rejection.

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Physical abuse occurs in more than one quarter of all teen relationships. It includes such things as slapping, kicking, hair pulling, shaking, and arm twisting. You may be at risk if your partner: is jealous and possessive controls you by giving orders scares you (or if youre unsure of his/her reactions to certain things) threatens you pressures you for sex gets too serious about the relationship too fast abuses drugs or alcohol has done things your friends and family warn you about People who are being abused are advised to avoid all possible contact with their furious ex. They are advised to leave at once, no matter what their partner says.

The abusees should talk to someone outside the situation, and definitely get the help they need.People who are abusing are urged to seek help and break off all contact with the person theyre abusing. Extreme depression cases due to heartbreak may also lead to physical violence towards oneself. The teenage suicide rate is up nearly 200% in the past twenty years. Teens seem to jump into their relationship too fast, and often mistake infatuation for love. When a breakup occurs, some teens feel their world is caving in on them and dont know what to do.Teens must realize that no matter how bad things seem, everyone goes through it and everyone gets over it. All of the above methods are completely wrong ways to regain personal power.

When attempting to let go, one should break contact and avoid hanging around places where you know he or she will be. You should accept that its over, stop asking why, realize and accept your emotions, decide to let go of the past by staying away from emotional traps, by learning from your mistakes and by looking forward to the future. Repairing The Hurt What makes breaking up so traumatic? Often, there are many unresolved emotions, unfinished business, and unanswered questions.

If you see an ex too soon, you risk triggering those unresolved feelings and fantasies, which will prevent you from moving on. This may not be easy if you attend the same school.In which case you should try your best to avoid the places you know s/hell be and dont purposely meet up with them. But when the time is right, such reunions can also be a valuable opportunity to work through the unfinished business.

Sometimes youll discover that all of the feelings of unworthiness or rejection that youve been harbouring are overblown. Such realizations allow you to move on to new relationships. Dont rush a reunion with your ex – give yourself plenty of time for the wounds to heal.When you are both ready, get together and review what happened. Explain the things that hurt you, what you wanted, what you feared, and what you miss.

With distance and a fresh perspective, any lingering pain may ease, and a new love may emerge. Many of us entertain the fantasy of seeing an ex and having him or her say, You were right all along, take me back! This would restore your feeling that you and your love mattered, but it actually only happens in a few cases so you shouldnt let your hopes skyrocket. If all of these steps are both followed and avoided, the dumped individual wouldve gone through all the tearful, sorrowful, raging, self-blaming and forgiving feelings that surface depending on ones coping skills and compromise the emotional progression of ending a relationship, and theyve come a long way towards their emotional healing. On The Other Hand..

Now, weve concluded that teens can sometimes overreact when theyve been dumped (suicide, depression, obsession, etc). As compared to adult breakups which tend to be more civilized on average, teens really have no reason to be severely depressed due to the fact that they have their whole life ahead of them. Adults on the other hand, have much more to worry about than teenagers. For example, adults have to worry about taking care of finances that were previously shared, the effect the breakup will have on their career, and how their children will react. In most cases, they know what love is (most cases) and arent so immature about things.

Sure, theyll be upset, but not to the suicidal point as teens too often are. Because children look to their parents to keep them safe, the lack of a family member could heighten their sense of vulnerability.The parent who remains with the child or children has to assume the role of the other parent in the financial, physical, and emotional aspects.

From a personal viewpoint, adults have a lot more to worry about than teenagers do so logically, they should be the ones overreacting, but theyre not. It definitely all boils down to the teenage self-esteem issue. Its way up when theyve got a boyfriend and when a breakup occurs, it plummets down and they lose control of their emotions.

This is when the wrong moves come into play.If there was only a way to ensure high self-esteem in all of todays teenagers we wouldnt have to worry about teens being pushed to the limit by their overwhelming emotions.